Unfuck Your Habitat

rohise:

While unfucking my laundry, (which I’ve been working on off and on for like 2 weeks now) I am finally at the end of mount laundry and today’s big effort was all the stuff in there on the floor and on the shelves that wasn’t laundry at all. And while doing that, and bear in mind, this is a room approximately the size of a not-very-large-cupboard, here is the weird stuff I found:

1. TWO large bottles of cleaning materials, a 2 liter bottle of Ajax floor cleaner and a large bottle of what we call in swedish “Green Soap” (which is a special kind of swedish magic as far as I can tell). Neither of these were in the cupboard provided under the counter for **actually ** putting cleaning stuff in (in fact, that was empty. Naturally.
2. A pair of rubber kitchen gloves. Neon blue. I have NEVER bought rubber gloves in my life, where the hell did they come from?
3. A chocolate easter egg (and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t from THIS easter)
4. An egg cup. (Seriously, wait what? Nobody who lives in this house has eaten a boiled egg from an egg cup in at least ten years, and we’ve only lived in this house for five!)
5. Shelves! I have shelves! That wasn’t just a mountain of crap piled up to the ceiling there were shelves under there!
6. My daughters gym bag she lost about a year ago.
7. A set of soccer shinguards for 8-10 year olds (my youngest daughter is 13, and I don’t even remember when she last played soccer.)
8. A whoooooole bunch of other crap that does not live in the laundry anymore.

It’d be more #UFYH-alicious if I’d found a bottle of vinegar in there I suppose :)

I really wish I’d thought to take a before picture, because it went from “unable to actually open the door all the way open like it is in this pic” to what you see below. Anyway, I’ve never done a before/after and now this isn’t really one either, it’s more of a “halfway there”.

Still to do:
1. Take out the boxes to the recycling (that means humping them about a half a mile by hand, but I CAN DO IT!!) and find a home for the picnic hamper thingy the boxes are standing on.
2. Take out the bottles (as for number 1, to the same place. Euuurgh)
3. Throw out ALL the unmated socks. That’s what’s in the baskets under the counter on the right. They are clearly breeding and/or mutating in there, do not, will not and have never had partners, and most of them belong to people who don’t even live here anymore - my ex husband or my oldest daughter who is 21 now, and can manage her own socks at her own house thank you very much, probably better than I ever did. I have GOT to learn to let go. Like seriously. My life is NOT improved by hanging on to random socks hoping their other half will magically turn up.
4. Figure out what normal people put on laundry shelves, because I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be anything that was on the first list in this post, and now I have two of them!
5. Lrn2pickupshit (seriously, I am so blind to crap on the floor, I didn’t even notice the plastic bag until I previewed the pic. The BRIGHT GREEN plastic bag in the middle of the picture.)

And while taking the other picture, I did notice how messy my kitchen had got, but what’s so damn cool now, after royally unfucking it, until yes, as someone else said, it was beautiful. Well as beautiful as it can be with wall-tiles apparently made of leprechaun shells, even when at first glance it looks like a royal horror, it only takes me a couple of minutes to set it right. So from pic 1 below to pic 2, took just as long as it took me to boil that itty bitty pot on the stove to make a cup of coffee.

And finally, I would like to point out, since this post has rambled on for days and days already, that while there seems to be alarmingly large amounts of bottles of noxious cleaning sprays in view, in my defense, most of them I just threw in the sink after removing them from my newly unfucked laundry, and two are recycled to be my vinegary-dishsoapy-water delivery agent :)

As for what bought this all on, I think I made the biggest unfuck of all today. Probably the second biggest one of my entire life - I broke up with the guy I’ve been seeing on and off for the last year or so, and in all honesty, although he is the one who dumped me, I’m more relieved than anything. And this is not the first time he’s dumped me, but this time, when he comes calling again, I’ll just say thanks, but no thanks.

High five on the unfucking of both the physical and interpersonal varieties!