So I’m a true cancer through and through. Tough outer shell, mothering, likes to retreat to my shell. So I have to have a space that is my own which is my home. My home is my absolute sanctuary.
Then my dad died in my home while I was on vacation. In my safe place. In the one place I could trust. His death took away the rock upon which I built my life as well as my sanctuary.
It’s been a little hard to reconcile all of that and mostly what has come out of my emotional turmoil has been a bit of a control quirk. It kinda makes sense between the mess I came home to due to him being there for a few days and the cats not knowing what to do all alone, and then the mess left by cleaning crews and the subsequent water damage from the A/C leaking and the attempt made to fix it, and then the fact that I had gone on a trip before vacay so I had left my room in shambles.
It’s pretty justifiable. My mom and I marathoned the downstairs when we were finally able to move back in, but I’ve been putting off my room. And I refuse to sleep in my room or use it for more than getting dressed and putting on makeup until it is spotless.
I took one day of doing mini-marathons and still ended up with this:
Which was still unacceptable for my brain so I left it for a while. But today I decided was the day to tackle it since I have to go back to pharmacy school on Monday. A room that I couldn’t be comfortable in was not going to be conducive to a successful semester. But this time I decided instead of marathoning I’d give the UfYH 20/10 idea a try.
After two of those I finally got this monster done:
This used to be filled with my collection of Beanie Baby bears, I had so many but they’re in storage now where they belong. Now I’ll have that top shelf dedicated to my Daddy and that third one will be for my two cats that passed (one we had to put down the day we found my Daddy). Also now all my knickknacks can stay off my dresser and nightstand
Then after another 20/10 and final 30 we reached the completed product:
Now I feel like I can go in there and be calm and in the process I feel like I’ve gained back a little more control of my life.
Still need to tackle “my office” which is the desk in my brother’s room, but that’s another issue since that’s where Daddy used to sleep. But for now, this is good.
20/10’s are amazing! I was skeptical at first cause I absolutelyhatedropping something in the middle when I’m actually still motivated to do it. But there was no burnout! And I felt like it was a game to race the clock and see how much I could do in 20 minutes. Plus I would be like “no, I’m done now…but wait, just one more 20, that’s not that long”.
So thanks UfYH for giving me my room (and a little bit of my sanity) back, a new method of cleaning (and getting other shit done) and for providing motivation all over my dash!
I’m so sorry for your loss, and so proud of your progress!