They say it takes three weeks to make a new habit. Here’s hoping.
Background: I’m a workaholic packrat with health-related fatigue issues, married for almost three decades to another compulsive collector packrat with depressive issues. Needless to say, everyone at UFYH understands my situation.
Recently: I’ve used UFYH and its 20/10’s and motivation to begin healing myself and my surroundings for the past several months. If nothing else, I’ve been making my bed 99.9% of the time. I’ve made a dent in my psyche if not a ton of my house. But it’s better, just not where I need it to be if I and my marriage are to survive.
My life: I work weekend nights in a factory, 4pm to 2:30am, Friday through Monday, ten hours per shift, which blends into 11 with getting ready on either end. Once in a while I have to stay until after 4am. We also have a paper route which I usually do two days a week to give Husband a rest. It takes about an hour and has to be done by 6:30am. My three days off each week are sacrosanct to me, and I try to use my time wisely so I can recharge, do what I need to do, run errands, go to appointments, have fun, and be ready to work another four days without hurting myself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Chaos messes with my recharge big time. Workdays I try to get enough sleep and take it easy on myself.
Currently: I put Husband on a train in the wee hours of Tuesday/Wednesday, the day after his 50th birthday. He will be 2000 miles away helping our dearest friend to do major demolishing and remodeling for three weeks. This is both a curse and a blessing.
The Curse bit: I’m alone in my house for the first time (only child moved out a year ago) with only the dogs for company. I like that, but it also means I’m solely responsible for their care, my care, the house, the bills, my work, and our daily paper route. Being a workaholic, I’ve done all or some of each of those things anyway, but this time it’s just me. And with my fatigue issues, I need to take things slowly or I pay for it for days.
The Blessing bit: I’m not responsible for Husband’s care. (Yes, I know. Married for this long, I know.) I love the man with all my heart, but combine our issues for decades and our surroundings showcase how unhealthy the interaction has become. We tend to demotivate each other when our issues arise, and it spirals downward from there.
Again, UFYH understands.
So.
I have three weeks, and I have goals.

I so understand! I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 30 years and I love him deeply. But, looking back,...