I started following UFYH while my hubby was working out of state. It was awesome. Suddenly I was maintaining a decently clean home, and doing things like vacuuming the couch, even when my mother wasn’t coming over.
20 minutes of cleaning between watching episodes of Smash on Hulu was making a difference.
But the hubby was coming home, and I was starting night classes, so how was it going to go with 2 people? I told him two things. No more floordrobe. And dishes belong in the dishwasher. Result is dirty clothes don’t pile up in the bathroom floor, laundry gets put away, and the kitchen sink is useable, and dishes aren’t scattered all over the living room. As time goes on I add new rules/goals (shoes go in the cabinet in the entry is next), and each time I add a goal, after awhile it doesn’t feel like a chore, it’s just what you do. It becomes a habit. Then it’s time to add a new goal. And it’s slow, but it’s working.
Thank you UFYH. Because of your site, instead of me getting passive aggressive when he made a mess (I tried that for most of 5 years. It didn’t work), we actually talked about cleaning, and we found a system that works for us.
I know a lot of people write in with roommate and spouse issues, and I wanted to share what worked for me. He’s not 100% on board, when I jump up between episodes of Daily Show and Colbert Report to run around and clean the bathrooms, but he is making small changes with me.
High five for your husband:
and another helpful reminder that being passive-aggressive never works. Clear, rational conversations are the way to go.