Unfuck Your Habitat

I hate cleaning. I’m one of those people who loves the idea of a clean, organized home, but has no idea how real people in the real world make it happen. I clean up, and within 24 hours, the place is a disaster again.

My sister has a 3 year old monster-child, and her house is cleaner than mine, and all I have is a husband and a cat.

I love seeing the pics on Unfuck Your Habitat (if you don’t read it, go read it NOW, but be warned, it’s a time-vampire). I love the idea of taking 20 minutes, whipping through and making an impact, and being rewarded with sparkly letters and a gif of awesome. But man… some days, I feel like this place is a hole, and that there’s no way out. That may be the depression talking.

So, now we have to move. We have to move from one end of this “MegaCity” nonsense to the other. And I’m dreading it. The packing, mostly, and the unpacking. Moving the clutter and the trash, tracking our mess all over… And turning another space into a trash hole.

I need to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I don’t really know how I”m going to do this.

I’m GOING to do this. Even if I have to make myself sparkly letters and gifs.

Could use some terrifying motivation though…

Get started.

cosmicstresshead Asks:

Good evening from rainy Bangor, Northern Ireland. I'm just home late from a job I'm increasingly disgruntled in, having come home through rain, two connecting buses with a cold. I suffer from depression already but tonight I'm in a particularly shitty mood, and my apartment is fucked. I had resolved to do a 20/10 on my livingroom and and do my dishes and put the bins out (and and and). I can't get myself off my own arse to do so. If you could spare the time, I need a swift kick in the booty!

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

Shut the fucking computer off, get up, and do 20 minutes on your living room. Take a 10 minute break, then do 20 minutes of dishes. Then take another 10 minute break and put the bins out.

Come on. Get going. Now.

Right fucking now.

kavlu Asks:

Can I have some motivation? I have two sick kids and an exhausted husband, and am knackered. I don't have any underlying issues (bar the lazy). I unfucked my kitchen and it's now refucked. Can I have a kick up the ass please?

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

Sick kids and exhausted husband mean they’re out of your way. 20 minutes on your kitchen, then a 10 minute break, then 20 minutes on the bathroom(s) because of the sick kids, then another break.

Now, please.

I fucking mean it.

I need UfYH to tell me off

vaginamacaroons:

Because look at this shit

Time to get to work. Now.

Do you think I don’t recognize a cry for help when I see one?

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GET OFF YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW AND SET A TIMER FOR TEN MINUTES AND UNFUCK SOMETHING.

NOW.

TEN MINUTES.

GO.

TERRIFYING MOTIVATION

I need a timer. Or a soundtrack or something.

phdork:

The bedroom is so trashed right now. Clothes all over, bed unmade, mail scattered hither and yon, cats on top of stacks of books and binders and notes and stuff that needs to be put away, but I’m just sitting here, surveying my Queendom of Qrap, and then checking email again.

Maybe POM could call me out. Would that help? I’m usually really tidy, but it’s like a bomb went off in here in the last 24 hours.

Sorry, sorry, I was at work! HAVE YOU STARTED UNFUCKING YET? NO? WHY NOT? GET TO WORK.

drawsomething replied to your post: MAKE YOUR BED

but my dog is sleeping there.

So was mine. I displaced her for 30 seconds, and now she’s sleeping there again.

THIS IS NOT THE “LET’S GIVE EXCUSES” GAME. THIS IS THE “MAKE YOUR BED” GAME.

I need some motivation to put away le christmas tree

ipsadixit:

paging team unfuckyourhabitat

PUT AWAY YOUR DAMN CHRISTMAS TREE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.*

*as long as you don’t accuse me of inflicting my privilege on you by suggesting that you take your holiday decorations down. Which I know you won’t.

GET TO IT.

I’M WATCHING.

I’M ALWAYS WATCHING.

I’m getting less, rather than more, motivated.

isopod:

I’m not pulling off 20/10s. My laundry is everywhere. My desk is a mess again, and that room has stalled.

But in the three minutes it took for my tea to steep, I washed two pots and wiped down all the counters in the kitchen.

I’m counting my small accomplishments but missing the desire to tackle the bigger problems.

STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.

RIGHT NOW.

20 minutes on either laundry or desk, and don’t come back until it’s done.

misandryspice Asks:

I just cleaned for an hour and a half straight and I still have things to finish doing but I'm tired. Motivate meeeeeee

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

GET UP.

BE LAZY LATER.

YOU’RE ALMOST DONE.

DON’T MAKE ME BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

GO. GO NOW.

redchickpoet Asks:

as i said a few days ago, i am new here. i forgot to mention that i'm trying to unfuck my apt/life while dealing with a physical disability as well as a mental block to cleaning. tonight, i invited an old friend (not seen in 20 years) to spend some time in my apt when she's in town on 12/26. now, i HAVE to unfuck my habitat. lol. nothing motivates like fear/shame. btw, i see peoples' posts in your journal? how do they get there? is there a tag to use that puts them there? how do i submit them?

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

GO UNFUCK NOW.

OFF YOUR ASS AND GET STARTED.

If you tag posts with Unfuck Your Habitat or Team Unfuck Your Habitat, I’ll see it and most likely reblog it. Can’t wait to see the progress.

trulysophisticat Asks:

HELP! My entire dorm room is filthy from a week of not properly cleaning due to finals! I just had my last class yesterday, and I am without clean socks. I'm too lazy to get out of bed to properly turn up the heat so I can get moving! Where do I start?

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

GET OUT OF BED.

TURN ON THE HEAT.

WASH YOUR FREAKING SOCKS.

snickerdoodled Asks:

doing 20/10s on a paper right now and i am going to FINISH IT TONIGHT! (i hope....) any extra encouragement (or threats) would be appreciated!

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

There is no “I hope.” There is only “I will.” You WILL finish this tonight, and you will NOT lose time by fucking around on Tumblr beyond your designated breaks.

kimberleycommonname Asks:

I need you to tell me to get the fuck out of bed (it's Monday morning where I am) and to go unfuck my house.

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

GET THE FUCK OUT OF BED. YOUR HOUSE IS NOT GOING TO UNFUCK ITSELF.

schnackattack Asks:

Just untucked my bedroom and bathroom... Now a quick lunch and arrested development break, then on to my living room and kitchen! I need a little motivation to turn off the tv though...

unfuckyourhabitat Said:

TURN OFF THE TV. NOW. GO. TV IS A TIME SUCK AND YOU WILL FAIL AT UNFUCKING IF YOU DON’T TURN IT OFF.