Unfuck Your Habitat

Terrifying motivation for lazy people with messy homes



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This week’s challenge is simple: throw away/recycle/donate ten things every day. This can be actual trash, things that you’re sorting through, whatever. But it doesn’t count unless it’s in the trash/recycling or out of your house. (Putting stuff in a bag to donate doesn’t count if the bag is still in your house.)

Ten things a day leaving your home. All week. You can do that.

Go clear off the surface of your coffee table, end table, or kitchen counter. Don’t have any of those? Clear off your nightstand or dresser.

This week, pick one surface (a countertop, coffee table, dresser or nightstand top, etc.), and clean it off. Then once a day, reset it by cleaning everything off of it and wiping it down as necessary. We’re aiming to have one consistently clear and clean surface for the whole week.

All trash goes in the trash can/recycling bin/appropriate receptacle!

This one may seem easy, but you’d be surprised at what you leave out instead of taking a few extra steps to throw it away or recycle it. Some of you might need to kick-start this challenge by picking up any trash that’s already left around. Once that’s done, work on maintenance throughout the week.

Clean out your medicine cabinet or any other storage in your bathroom. throw away anything that’s gross or expired, and organize the rest.

Pick one kitchen counter and put everything that doesn’t belong on it away. Wipe down the counter and any appliances that are out (toaster, coffeepot, etc.).

Leave no dish behind!

This week, focus on making sure every dish, clean or dirty, ends up where it should be, whether that’s in the dishwasher, in the sink (and then washed), or put away once it’s clean. No abandoned drinking glasses on the coffee table, no used coffee mugs on the counter. Dishes get returned to their rightful place this week.

Prevent the floordrobe!

This week, all clothing and shoes must be put somewhere that is not the floor, a chair, your bed, or a lingering laundry basket. Put your clothes:

  • in the hamper,
  • in your dresser/wardrobe, or
  • in the closet.

What about clothes that aren’t “dirty enough” to wash? My opinion is that if it’s clean enough to wear again, it’s clean enough to put away. If that skeeves you out, designate a drawer or a section of closet or a hanging organizer in your closet where these not-quite-clean but not-quite-dirty clothes can go.

Of course, this weekly challenge builds on the one from a few weeks ago, where we learned that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit.

20 minutes, starting AS SOON AS you’re done reading this post. Pick one thing that needs unfucking and get to it. I promise that the Internet will still be here in 20 minutes.

GO! GO NOW! DON’T YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME. IT’S 20 MINUTES, NOT A LIFETIME COMMITMENT.

Check back and tell me what you unfucked.

What did you get done?

Hello to all the unemployed, funemployed, underemployed, or people who just plain hate your job! This challenge has three parts. Pick the one that’s applicable to you, or do all three if you need to.

  1. How’s your resume? I bet it could use a little work. Take half an hour and really polish that thing up.
  2. COVER LETTERS. I know. They’re painful sometimes.You really should have a semi-generic one all set up to customize, so work on that for a half hour or so. Have a specific job in mind? Take this time to tailor one for that job. It’s really only a few paragraphs. You just need to get started.
  3. Time to apply. Let’s give a goal of three applications/resumes sent out today. Three is easy. Three is doable.

Bonus challenge. If you’ve haven’t left the house in a while, go ahead and hop in the shower. I promise it won’t hurt. It’ll feel really nice. After your shower, put on something a step up from pajamas. Trust me, it helps.

This week’s challenge:

Every time you leave a room, take something with you that doesn’t belong there, and put it back where it’s supposed to be. (This includes garbage.) If you’re in the advanced class and nothing needs to leave the room, then do one thing to improve the room each time you’re in it.

Move your trash can and sweep/mop the floor around it, wipe down the surrounding walls (if any), and wipe down the outside of the trash can. Change the bag if needed, putting spare bags in the can so they’re ready for easy replacing.

It’s pantry time, people! How many old boxes of crackers, half-eaten bags of chips of questionable origin, and bits and pieces from gift baskets of years past are kicking around in your cabinets and cupboards? Time to weed through. Grab a trash bag, and give me 20 minutes on, followed by a ten minute break. Repeat until only unexpired, still-edible food remains.

This week, work on the “put it away, goddammit” step of laundry and dishes. Every time you do a load of laundry or do the dishes, challenge yourself to actually put every single item away as soon as it’s done.

Try timing yourself to see how long that third step takes, and decide whether or not it’s worth investing whatever that amount of time is so that your clothes or dishes aren’t sitting around in baskets, drying racks, or dishwashers for days, weeks, or longer. (Don’t be shy. I know you have laundry baskets that have remained untouched for months. It’s OK. You’re not the only one.)

Do you have a clothes, linen, pantry, or junk closet you’re afraid to open? Spend 20 minutes getting it under control. Try not to take everything out at once; that way, you can stop without being in the middle of a giant mess.