Unfuck Your Habitat

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Posts tagged "steam mop"


My steam mop arrived! And just in time! (Related: I hereby give THE FINGER to fluctuating prices! It’s being offered now for noticeably less than I paid for it two weeks ago. #ANNOYED.)

Tonight, after an evening assisting my MIL in pan-frying latkes in vegetable oil, I gave the steam mop its inaugural run. Success! All the little drips of oil that were making the floor gross and slick are gone baby gone. It was wickedly simple to use and the results were exceptional. Even though I’m pretty sure I overpaid (#ANNOYED), it was worth it. I will use the shit out of this item. 

HOWEVER. I used the included steam mop “cleaning solution,” which left the room with a weird chemical clean/baby powder smell. It was unpleasant. I should have gone with my gut and just used vinegar, because… 


Let this be a lesson, UnFuckers! Vinegar forever!

Just be careful with steam mops, because many of them are designed to be used with water and only water (no additives), and using a cleaner, even vinegar, can fuck them up. If you can, distilled water is even better because it helps avoid mineral deposits and such.


The Walmart Black Friday online preview circular for my area is advertising the Shark Steam Pocket Mop for $39 in store only. The sale starts at 10 PM on Thanksgiving. I have certain misgivings about both Walmart and Black Friday, but that’s a pretty great deal. Their regular “rollback” price is $65.

17 years working in retail means I beg you all to not play into this Black Friday nonsense, but it’s a good price, if anyone’s interested.


Shameful admission: I’ve only mopped twice since we moved into this apartment a year ago.

Mr. Cuntosaurus’s dad is in town this weekend. He asked Mr. Cunt what I wanted for my birthday next weekend. Mr. Cuntosaurus said that I’d had my eye on a steam mop, and today we bought one.This one.

It is fucking awesome. I mopped the apartment in 15 minutes, including drying time. Granted, we have a studio, but we have hardwood or laminate throughout it.

I’ll actually mop now. This is amazing. You just put water in it, plug it in and go. What could be easier?

Yes! That’s the fancier version of the one I have!

Asker froggychrist Asks:
Hi! I have a Shark, but I spent the last two years filling it with San Diego tap water and I think I may have fucked it up. The tap water in SD has a lot of crud in it and I think it's left deposits on the inside the Shark. The pressure inside it builds up like crazy then the steam finally bursts out of it with a crazy high pitched whistling sound. Now I'm afraid to use it because I think it might explode. Is there a way to clean out all gunk that seems to be creating a problem?
unfuckyourhabitat unfuckyourhabitat Said:

Definitely sounds like mineral deposits. Using distilled water will avoid this in the future.

You can try filling the water tank with half water, half vinegar and letting it sit overnight. Give it a good shake, then dump out the contents. Fill with just water and dump it out a few times to remove any vinegar residue. You can also (while the mop is empty and unplugged, please!) clean out the steam dispenser holes with a straightened paper clip or the like. This is likely where the buildup of steam is happening. If you have a fancypants version, it will have come with a tool thingy to clean out the steam nozzle. The rest of just have to make do.

If you have any feeling that your Shark might be unsafe to use, PLEASE DO NOT USE IT. Exploding steam mops are not anything you want, ever. If it’s still giving you problems, perhaps invest in a new one and use distilled water from the start.

Asker heychubby Asks:
What kind of steam mop do you have/recommend?
unfuckyourhabitat unfuckyourhabitat Said:

I have the base model Shark and I love it. I’ve used the fancypants expensive one, too, and it’s pretty awesome.

Asker redcloud Asks:
You've mention before that you have a Shark steam mop. May I ask, which model is it?
unfuckyourhabitat unfuckyourhabitat Said:

This one.

I have the fancypants high end one at work, and that one’s pretty awesome, too.

Asker dogteaknit Asks:
I have a mud-loving dog. I have a stupid vinyl kitchen floor that has dimples (!) in it. How do I unfuck those dimples without scrubbing with a stupid toothbrush? I've been using a wet Swiffer knock off to get rid of the paw prints every day but it does nothing for those aggravating dimples and even a weekly hard core mopping leaves them dirty. I seriously hate cleaning. Help?
unfuckyourhabitat unfuckyourhabitat Said:

I know the dimples of which you speak.

1. Stop using the wet Swiffer. Dry Swiffers are spectacular for pet hair and such, but the wet ones are almost worse than nothing at all.

2. If you can, invest in a steam mop. You can get a basic model Shark for less than $50, and the only supply you’ll ever need for it is water. The pads are machine washable. It will clean the dimples.

3. *cough*Magic Eraser*cough*